Maid from Outer Space

by Cristiano Caffieri


Our story unfolds on the Planet Xti, where Professor Bok Borkin-bok is demonstrating his new invention “The Borkin-bok Tele-transporter.” A crowd of Xtian dignitaries have gathered around as he transports a simple Jibbin-tik Pie from a flashing cabinet to a table 20 feet away. There is enthusiastic applause and yells of approval from the onlookers.

The Professor smiles as if to say “You’ve seen nothing yet”!

He then claps his hands and a woman appears in a servant’s uniform. She does a curtsy, the Professor ushers her into the cabinet and closes the door. He then proceeds to walk over to a high-backed chair, which stands by an ornately carved table.

After stroking the seat and looking towards his audience with a confident smile, he gestures to his assistant to pull the lever on the side of the cabinet. The assistant promptly obeys but is forced to jump back as the cabinet emits a series of bright flashes followed by thick green smoke.
Panic breaks out amongst the crowd. The Professor rushes over and tries to open the door of the cabinet. He tugs and pulls furiously and when it eventually gives way, there is no sign of a woman inside.

The onlookers don’t know whether to laugh or cry; the Bok Borkin-bok looks around in bewilderment. His assistant peeks cautiously behind the cabinet and behind the chair, he turns apologetically to the crowd and shakes his head.

The Professor, obviously embarrassed by the failure of his much-lauded device, gives a silly giggle and puts his hand to his mouth as if to say “Oops”!

Meanwhile, in what you might call an average suburban household in the little town of Fairfax, Iowa, Bob Babbage, a 32-year-old divorced tree surgeon is getting ready for work. Before he leaves he takes a pack of pork chops from the freezer and cringes, he’s beginning to hate pork chops but it’s the only thing he knows how to cook. He leaves them on the counter top to thaw, then grabs his files and leaves for his first tree pruning.

As he’s about to climb in his truck Peter Penders, his next door neighbor walks over. Peter works on a garbage truck but having to live up to his wife’s social ambitions he dresses impeccably and carries a hand tooled briefcase to work in which he keeps his sandwiches.

“When are you going to find a new housekeeper?” he calls out, as he strides across the lawn in his three piece navy blue suit and shiny black wingtips.

Bob pauses, with his hand still on the door handle as Peter babbles on.

“ Going to work all day and then having to cook and clean when you get home can’t be much fun. What happened to the big fat woman you hired last month?”

“Hilda? She couldn’t cook worth a fuck and her idea of cleaning was to vacuum everything she could reach without having to move away from the TV screen. I fired her after three days. The agency said they were going to find us a replacement but that was three weeks ago.”

After a brief conversation, where Peter kept extolling the virtues of being married to a woman like “His Penelope,” a woman who seemed to be able to juggle a career as a top real estate saleslady whilst keeping her home immaculate.

Bob drove away mid-conversation. He liked his neighbor, but when he started to talk about his wife in such glowing terms he became irritated. How this guy could be so complimentary about a woman who nagged him from morning ‘til night mystified him.

As Bob turned the corner at the bottom of his street he was unaware that a strange looking Xtian woman had suddenly appeared in the middle of his living room. This is where our story really begins!

When Niola Naga-niola suddenly found herself in the middle of the Babbage home she was not particularly perturbed, for this shapely woman who looked a little bit Korean, except for her big hazel eyes and snow white hair, had been been trained from birth to be a servant. That’s the way it was for some folk on Planet Xti, it was not unlike the Hindu caste system in that regard.

She had been Professor Borkin-bok’s servant for three Xtian years and had always performed her duties obediently, however she had recently asked for a transfer of ownership due to his habit of blowing things up, even in the kitchen. It had gotten to the point where Niola was afraid to go in the there if he was experimenting with some recipe or other. Even a simple task like making a Pablok-cum-bar could end up with Shilli-both dripping from the ceiling. Of course, it was her that had to clean up his mess and she objected to that

She was a little confused why the Tortuk-bi Council had chosen to transfer her to such an alien place but, she was Tortuk and she had to do as she was told. Fortunately, Bob had a number of paperbacks on the bookshelf and so Niola, who had an IQ of 1247, was able to read the contents by slapping herself at the side of the head with them. After a little brain bashing with Webster’s Dictionary and Roget’s Thesaurus, she was able to speak quite acceptable English. However, to familiarize herself with general conversation patterns she also lightly tapped herself with a couple of Bob’s erotic novels.

Exploring the house, Niola found that it was somewhat primitive by Xtian standards but again she was trained to make the most out of what she had available to her. She quickly set about preparing a meal, anticipating that when her employer or employers returned home they would probably be hungry.

After reviewing the contents in the kitchen she decided to set to work preparing some Borg-slep with Pitishat-ko as a side dish. Although she didn’t have exactly the right ingredients she was able to improvise using the pork chops, some vegetables from the fridge and a half a bottle of rum she found in the cocktail cabinet.

After she had prepared the meal she left it to simmer while she thoroughly cleaned the house, did the laundry, the ironing, polished all of the shoes and then finding a can of paint and a roller that Bob had left lying near the front door she completely repainted the entrance hall. Niola then sat back to watch some of the strange programs on the TV.

When Bob opened the door he was greeted by the smell of fresh paint. He sniffed a few times and looked around. He was amazed to see what could only be described as a professional decorating job. He’d always intended to put that paint to use but never quite got around to it. That was part of the reason his wife had left him. He tended to put things off.

Shaking his head in disbelief he then walked into the living room and caught sight of Niola, who quickly got up, switched off the TV and gave him a curtsy. She immediately offered to help him off with his coat but he brushed her aside.

“Who are you?” he managed to croak hoarsely.

“I’m Niola, your maid sir”

Bob, still a little shocked, shook his head and made towards the phone, intending to call the agency to see why on earth they would send a maid without informing him. However, before he actually dialed he looked around the living room and seeing it so neat and tidy he just put the phone down.

The next thing that caught his attention was the smell drifting in from the kitchen. Cautiously he moved in the direction of the aroma with Niola following behind. He lifted the lids of a couple of pots and asked what it was.

“That is Borg-slep, a kind of curry,” she told him, “and that one is Pitishat-ko , a vegetable dish.”

She then invited him to sit at the table and eat, it was then he notice how nicely it was laid out with a freshly iron cloth and the matching dishes. Still rather dazed he sat down and Niola proceeded to serve him.

“Please join me Miola.”

“That’s Niola sir, and I don’t think that would be proper.”

Poor Bob, totally confused but dying to dig into his grub said, “ it’s up to you but I don’t stand on ceremony – you’ll be a member of the family as far as I’m concerned.”

Niola smiled and poured him a glass of red wine. He normally didn’t have wine with dinner but he was enjoying the strangely named dishes and thought it couldn’t do any harm.”

“Wow – this is a really good wine – I didn’t realize I bought anything quite this good.”

“You didn’t sir, I had to improve it.”

“How do you improve a bottle of wine that’s already made?”

“I add a little of this and a little of that and then I shake it vigorously,” she replied.

After polishing off most of the fare he rubbed his belly and suggested that he show her where she’d be sleeping.

“Well, I did take the liberty of cleaning the three bedrooms upstairs and assumed the smallest one was mine.”

“Not necessarily,” he said, realizing that he had a treasure in Niola, “you could have the middle one if you like it’s quite a bit larger.”

She said she was very grateful for his kind offer, then she followed him into the living room where he flopped into a chair and she immediately put on his slippers for him. There was only one thing that was starting to worry him – it was her looks. Hilda his last housekeeper was fat and had a rather disgusting body odor, while she, on the other hand, was quite beautiful and wore an intoxicating perfume.

With Hilda there was no fear of getting an involuntary erection when she bent over but when his new woman bent down to pick up a piece of lint she spotted on the carpet, he felt a sudden pressure building up in his crotch area. She was only wearing a short tunic over a pair of brief panties and it left little to the imagination.

For the rest of the evening Niola just seemed to keep busy and even when he mentioned that she could sit and watch television with him she declined, saying that it was not her place. Bob found her complete subservience a bit frustrating, it was like as if she was from another planet – and she was of course.

The following morning he had a delicious cooked breakfast, all his laundry had been done and so he was able to wear clean underwear for a change. She handed him his files as he put his polished boots on and then when opened the door he gasped to see his truck washed and gleaming like new.

Peter next door had caught a glance of her earlier when she was hosing it down. He couldn’t believe his eyes.

“You lucky bastard,” he mumbled to himself as he saw the extent of her legs as she leaned over the hood to clean the windshield.

He wasn’t able to catch Bob before he left as his wife Penelope was nagging him about the front garden not being up to scratch.

“The Beautiful Garden Committee will be coming around soon and I don’t want that Mrs. Adams to win again.”

Peter was still thinking about Bob’s new nubile housemaid so he wasn’t paying attention to what his wife was saying. However, Niola was. She had super sensitive hearing, she even heard Peter and Penelope fucking each other’s brains out during the night. In fact, this started her wondering if she should be offering sex to her boss – she was trained to make her owners happy.


There were two shocks for the neighbors when they got home that evening, the Penders found their garden looking better than it had ever looked before and Bob was greeted with another culinary masterpiece, after which Niola asked him he’d like to have sex with her.

Bob was speechless and told her he didn’t think that it would be proper. She didn’t seem to understand his concern and went on to describe all the sexual services she could perform for him.

Thinking that he perhaps wanted to see what she had to offer she stripped off her clothes and stood there naked in the middle of the living room. Poor Bob, whose dick was pressing hard against his pants didn’t know what to do. He was sure he didn’t include that in the job description he gave to the agency and he thought it might even be illegal.

Hoping to make him feel at ease Niola slipped her bum onto his lap, put her arms around him and kissed him. She’d figured that if he enjoyed the stuff she’d read in his novels she’d try to replicate it. To this end, she began with a little tongue wrestling.

Bob was beginning to perspire and his balls were beginning to send urgent signals to his brain. In response, he ventured to rub the palm of his hand across her left tit. Niola froze and pulled away from him.

Poor Bob wasn’t sure what was happening and she was as confused as he was.

“I’m a Tortuk,” she said, “Why would you try to please me.”

“A Tortuk?”

“Yes – we give pleasure but we are not allowed to receive it.”

Thinking she was an immigrant with a very strange culture he told her that in his house they went by American rules. Niloa shrugged and went back to kissing him. He then slowly slid his slightly roughened hand between her thighs. Her body started to shake and when his finger began to probe her vagina she stopped again.

“Are you OK?” he asked.

She swallowed and nodded her head, “It feels wonderful.”

That was all he wanted to know and quickly stripping off his clothes he picked her up and was heading for the bedroom when she suggested they should shower first. Realizing that he probably did smell of tree branches he changed direction and took her into the bathroom. Now she insisted on observing Tortuk tradition and she sponged his entire body.

When her soapy hands gently massaged his balls he didn’t want her to stop because he was dying to cum. Niola seemed to sense this and when she’d rinsed off the lather she went down on her knees and latched her gorgeous lips onto his dick.

“Holy shit!” he cried, as she engorged the whole thing while probing his nutsack with her long slender fingers, “That’s fucking amazing.”

She was pleased she was pleasing him and she kept up a steady pace until he gripped onto her bare shoulders, gave a primeval roar and blew his load into her mouth. Niola swallowed it and as his legs were still a bit jelly like from the experience she took his hand and led him to the bedroom.

Once by the bed, he asked her to sit on the end and then he leaned her body back dropped down onto the rug, opened up her legs and placed his face between them. She seemed to be completely shocked by his behavior but not wanting to offend him she didn’t object as he slowly made his way to her white bush, separated her petals with his fingers and then ran his tongue up and down the moist lips.

She called out something like “Gah-na-wah so-do-gah,” and moved her ass up and down as if she couldn’t get enough of it. When she had an orgasm she broke Bob’s grasp and flung herself all over the bed like a rag doll. It was a few seconds before he could pin her down to ram his throbbing cock into her. She gasped and clung onto his forearms as he held onto her lovely tits and pounded her tight pussy until his ball started to ache. She gripped onto him tightly as he kept thrusting it in and out and when he flopped exhausted beside her she licked some of the perspiration from his chest.

Niola didn’t go to her room that night she slept with his arms around her. When he awoke at seven he found her place was empty and he was hugging a pillow. Bob took a quick shower and followed the smell of a delicious breakfast down to the kitchen. He kissed her on the cheek as she was serving the breakfast and then insisted that she sat with him.

Reluctantly she took her place but then as he tucked into something that tasted like eggs and bacon but didn’t look quite the same, she dropped a bombshell.

“Do you not find it strange that the Tortuk-bi Council sent me all the way from the Andromeda Galaxy to serve you in the Milky Way?”

He stopped eating for a moment and looked at her. Talk of other planets and extraterrestrials was not new experience exactly, his neighbor Peter Pender, who was a UFO freak, bored him with it all the time. Was she as crazy as him he wondered?

He didn’t have much time to think about it as he was in a hurry to get to an early morning job. After giving her a little peck on the cheek he headed out and as he got busy climbing trees and pruning branches it slipped completely out of his mind.

When Penelope came home that afternoon Peter managed to get her to listen to him in regard to Bob’s new maid. The way he described her, as “slender nubile goddess” did pique her interest and she couldn’t wait to see her. Her opportunity came when Niola came out to sweep the path.

“OMG – what would his ex-wife say if she saw her,” she exclaimed and it wasn’t many minutes before she was on the phone to Betty.”

Although she and Bob were officially divorced she still felt she had some influence over his life and when Penny told her that he had some floozy as a housekeeper she was livid. She knew her ex was a horny fucker and the idea that he might end up banging another woman in the bed they’d slept in together was highly upsetting. She figured that if Penny’s description of her was correct there was no doubt he’d been banging her eventually.

Betty knew that Bob had the power to attract women, just from her own experience, he was quite a hunk. When they first met she couldn’t wait to get into bed with him and three months later they were married. The problem was he was a bit too easy going and she was the opposite. She wanted everything neat and tidy and she became easily agitated when it wasn’t. Now she was agitated, maybe even a little jealous because he got a bimbo for a maid.

When Bob got home supper was on the table and as usual, it was first class. He didn’t bring up the subject of interplanetary travel right away as he planned to do it when they were sitting watching TV. However, he didn’t get the chance because just as they were about to sit down when the doorbell rang.

Niola was at the door in a flash and when she opened it she was faced with a snotty looking character in the shape of her master’s first wife. Betty didn’t wait to be invited in she just barged past the maid and into the living room.

“Where did you get her from?” she asked, rudely nodding her head in the general direction of the puzzled Tortuk.

“Oh that’s Niola, she’s my new live-in maid,” he smiled, knowing that him having someone that attractive in the house was burning her guts out.

“Don’t you think it would have been more appropriate to have chosen someone a little more matronly?”

“Oh you mean like you,” he fired back.

Betty exploded and raised her hand as if she was about to sock him, Niola quickly raised hers and the ex-wife just froze like a model from Madame Tussauds. Bob, panicking in case she was dead or something, yelled at Niola asking her what happened.

“Oh I put her into a suspended state,” she said innocently, “I can bring her out any time you wish.”

“Well I think I’d like to wish it now,” he spluttered, still not able to believe his eyes.

He quickly moved out of the chair before Niloa gave a little wave and Betty, who was paused to deliver him a slap across the face, just wafted fresh air and fell into the chair.

“What happened?” she cried easing herself back up.

“I’ve no idea, Bob laughed, “you seem to be a bit unsteady on your feet.”

Betty glared at Niola,” There’s something funny going on around here and even though I have no interest in your welfare at all Bob Babbage – I think you should get rid of this woman – I think she’s trouble.”

With that, she stormed out of the house and went around to the Penders.

“He insulted me,” she told them, “He was sitting in the chair at the time and I was furious. I drew back my hand to give him a swipe across the face and he disappeared – God’s honest truth – he just disappeared and I fell into the chair. I swear that woman’s a witch or something – that’s the only explanation I can come up with.”

“Or an Alien,” said Peter, with a solemn look on his face, “There have been several UFO sightings around here lately.”

“That’s ridiculous,” piped up Penny.

“You wouldn’t say that if you’d have seen her washing his truck the other day, she had it finished and sparkling like new in under three minutes.”

“You’re just imagining things.”

“Well – whether she’s an illegal alien or an alien from up there,” Betty said, pointing upwards,” it’s worth reporting to the authorities.”

Back in the Babbage house, Bob was demanding an explanation from Niola. She shrugged, suggested he sit down and then she gave him the whole story.

He didn’t believe her, in fact, he accused her of being another Peter Pender. Furious at being called a liar she put him under suspension and while he was under she carried him outside and sat him in the birdbath on the front lawn.

Having heard the door open the Penders and his ex were peering from behind the curtains at the strange scene. When she brought him back to life he was struggling to get out of the garden feature with his backside dripping with water.

“Alien,” chorused the three voyeurs.

Now convinced his sexy maid was indeed from another planet Bob just asked her if she’d pour him a triple Bourbon. He sipped on it for the best part of an hour, mulling things over in his mind and he came to the conclusion that Niola was the greatest maid a man ever had and she was gorgeous. What did it matter if she was an extra terrestrial – he had no right to be prejudice.

He sat there minus his pants, as she had put them in the dryer after coming in from the birdbath, and she knelt by his feet waiting for his next command and started to play with his cock. She seemed fascinated by it.

As she had a vagina he presumed the males on her planet must have penises, but “perhaps they’re not as big as mine” he reasoned, “perhaps they have tiny ones.” It was very comforting to think that in the vastness of the universe Bob Babbage, Tree Surgeon, of Fairfax, Idaho, might have one of the biggest dicks.

Once it was really erect, drawing on her knowledge from the erotic romance novels she found on the bookshelves, she looked up at him with those big hazel eyes and asked if he wanted to do it doggie style. Even though he was still recovering from the shock that he’d actually fucked an alien. he figured he could hardly turn down such an opportunity.

He was quite prepared to engage in foreplay but when she stripped off, that beautiful body, that had traveled billions of miles through space, was bending over the sofa wiggling its ass inviting immediate penetration. After casting his remaining clothes off he leaned over her and held on to her tits. She sighed as though she liked that but when the tip of his cock touched the lips of her cunt she let out a loud moan.

Bob grabbed onto her narrow hip bones and slowly inserted it. She gasped and seemed to hold her breath until he withdrew it and plunged it in a bit more forcefully. In spite of having the desire to slowly slide it in and out, the need to blow his load seemed to override all other considerations. Consequently he started to ram it into her so that his balls were bouncing off of her ass and he could feel the cum getting ready to explode inside of her. When he did spew a very large blob of goo into her love canal she forced her ass back against him seemingly wanting to milk him dry.

They spent the rest of the evening drinking coffee and just talking, she was a surprisingly good conversationalist and somewhere she had managed to pick up quite a bit of information on Tree Diseases. Bob was in heaven.


After another night snuggling in bed with his enchanting companion/maid, Bob enjoyed another delightful breakfast and, as his workload was a bit lighter than usual, he decided to go to in after lunch. This proved to be a wise decision because at 11.30 sharp there was a knock on the door and there, accompanied by the Penders and his ex-wife, was a very official looking man from immigration. He immediately addressed Niola in faltering Spanish,

“Habla usted Inglés?”

“She’s not a Latino,” chirped up Peter, “She’s an alien from another planet.”

The man from immigration scowled at him and told him that he was conducting the interview and requested him to keep quiet. The UFO chaser looked a little miffed.

Wondering was detaining his maid at the door, the happy-go-lucky tree surgeon decided to go and see if there was a problem.

“I’m sorry about this Bob but we think you’ve been duped into hiring an alien,” Peter greeted him.

“My God – are you Mexican?” he laughed, putting his arm around Niola affectionately.

“I was born in the US Virgin Islands,” she lied, rather convincingly, “I can go and find my birth certificate if you like.”

Her employer was a little worried when she took off upstairs wondering where the hell she was going to dig that up from. Meanwhile, he invited the little posse into the kitchen and offered them coffee. The man from immigration graciously accepted but the other three, worried in case it contained plutonium, declined his offer.

They all sat around the kitchen table, looking rather uncomfortable while they waited for Niola to return.

“As the man sipped on his coffee he asked what was cooking on the stove, “It smells mighty good,” he said.

“It’s somewhat like curried lamb with a few secret ingredients,” Bob replied, “Would you like a taste.”

The man, who was quite portly and looked as if he never missed a meal, said he’d love to, while the other three shook their heads vigorously to indicate their concern. He ignored them and was soon slurping on a steaming bowl of Jek-tok Moy.

“This is superb,” he said, between spoonfuls, “you’re a very lucky man to have a housemaid who can cook like this.”

“Are we forgetting something,” Peter interjected, “We all came here to investigate the possibility of an alien living in this house.”

“No – I came to do that – you just came because you can’t keep your nose out of other people’s business,” the man growled and went back to his food.

Bob was getting quite anxious wondering what Niola was up to. She was in his small office upstairs making an absolutely genuine looking birth certificate for herself. When she re-entered the room his ex seemed on edge, probably suspecting that there would be a birth certificate and she’d look a fool.

The man examined the document and seemed satisfied, apologized for the inconvenience and complimented Niola on her wonderful cooking. However, Betty was not going to leave it there,

“What about her making my husband disappear out of the chair?”

“Ex-husband,” Bob reminded her.

“Husband – ex-husband – what the fuck does it matter,” she spluttered, “That woman is a witch or something.”

“I’m sorry but that’s not my department, you’d have to take that up with our people in Salem, and I should remind you folk that calling out an officer of the United States Government on a ridiculous wild goose chase could get you in serious trouble.”

Heads bowed the three shuffled out of the house muttering to themselves and Bob closed the door behind them.

“I’m glad that’s over,” he said, and he was about to ask her how she managed to produce a birth certificate when a large pie suddenly appeared on the dining table.

“Holy shit – how did you do that?”

“I didn’t,” she replied, “I guess Professor Bok-borkin Bok is still using the same settings on the Tele-transporter.”

“Oh my god,” he cried, “he couldn’t beam you back up that way could he?”

“No,” she laughed, “He’d have to have a cabinet here on Earth to do that.”

“Thank God, I couldn’t bear to lose you.”

She kissed him gently on the lips, “I don’t ever intend to leave you – but I must warn you I’m not going to be your Tortuk anymore – we have to be equals.”

“Oh shit,” he thought to himself – I knew I should have got rid of that book by Gloria Steinem.”

Note: Mrs. Adams did win the Beautiful Garden Competition as it appears an elephant or some equally large animal trampled the Penders garden the night before the viewing. Nobody can explain it but Peter thinks the damage was probably done by the landing gear of a UFO.

Some Great Sex Toy Pictures

Copyright 2006-2016 Cristiano Caffieri
You may not sell, license, sub-license, rent, transfer or distribute any part of these stories or the photographs herein in any format, or claim ownership.

The characters portrayed in these stories are fictional and any similarity to persons living or dead is purely a product of your own imagination.

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