xxx-My Unc Put His Spunk in My Trunk

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By Lauren McAllister

I spent an ass-numbing amount of time, during my sweet 16th year, sitting in various lawyers’ oak-paneled waiting rooms. Instead of having a nice wank while fantasizing about some dreamy guy in a bathroom cubicle at school, I was regrettably using my fingers to flip through gripping articles about advancements in contract litigation in various dusty legal periodicals. My mother and father were going through one of those stereotypical “messy” divorces. Mom and dad used to squabble without pause before they decided to pack in their unquestionably imperfect marital union, but at least in those days, it didn’t cost them $425 an hour to do it.

They fought bitterly and with righteous purpose for months over who got to keep what and then had to sell it all to pay their legal fees. At the end of this sorry spat-fest, my mother got to keep me and my twin brother and dad got to keep his bimbo and 2nd best toupee. Needless to say, there were a lot of sulky faces around our second-hand Formica breakfast table’ as we wallowed in our new-found penury. We were in a funk that James Brown couldn’t touch. Then one day, we got a call from my weird uncle.

Uncle Bob was a nudist. How positively scandalous! Our side of the family practically showered with our clothes on, we were so mind-crushingly prudish. I went to a private girls’ school to protect me from any chance of graduating as a well-adjusted member of society. Danny (my brother) suffered the same sort of unisex educational fate. Hey, if it wasn’t for Google Images, I wouldn’t have known what that hole between my legs was for! Prior to the familial cleaving, Mom didn’t talk to Uncle Bob much – my father didn’t approve. Dad thought “naturalism” was for batshit Bolsheviks and my uncle was a couple of ducks short of a flock with his clothes on. But now that my mother didn’t approve of my father, she was more than happy to have a chin wag on the phone with her libertine sibling.

During the ensuing months, the two of them actually became close again, while I continued to try to imagine what it was like to have a boyfriend. We were an entire household of partner-less souls. I assume mom and bro spent their late evening hours wanking to beat the band. I know I did. While staggering amounts of self-love was an enjoyable way to pass the time, I did long for the day when someone else would be sticking their fingers, et al into my unpillaged pulchritude.

I think it was a Wednesday, when my mother broke the creepy and disturbing news to Danny and myself. Quite casually, she informed us that our dear twisted Unc had invited the family to spend the weekend at his nudist colony. What’s more…she had accepted! I looked at Dan and he looked at me…and not in a good way. Needless to say, with my anatomically stifling upbringing, I had never seen a male of the species naked, except for when I was wanking myself blind on the web. I’m guessing poor Dan hadn’t seen a truckload of women in the buff, either. Now, I know it’s perfectly normal for siblings to see each other in the altogether at various points in their lives, but that’s usually at the age of 3 or 4 and not sixteen or seventeen! I’m not sure if it’s actually possible for a vagina to cringe but mine sure felt like that’s what it was doing beneath my pleated skirt.

The next 48 hours were spent throwing up from nerves and staring at myself in a mirror, hoping that what I had was not going to get me laughed out of “Camp Naturel”. I so wished that I hadn’t shaved the puss (it really does make rubbing out a juicy one so much more fun). There was no way I was going to grown back any amount of pubery in a day and a half, so my unadorned vag was going to be on full display, whether I liked it or not. Danny couldn’t even look at me. Mom seemed to be in some sort of denial. She was, at least, until Friday afternoon, when it was time to pack the car and go. When I got home from school, I could tell that she’d already had a couple of stiff ones…and I’m not talking cocks. She had me drive, while she continued to stealthily tipple in the passenger seat.

By the time we got to the camp gates, momsy was pretty well legless. Someone waved us on through and, Oh My God, I instantly caught sight of my first real live cock, waving around under a big, hairy potbelly. It was lucky, I didn’t crash the car. One had hoped, of course, for something a tad larger and more picturesque, when one first laid eyes upon a dangling man monster but is was still rather exciting. From then on, I dutifully kept my eyes focused on the driveway, to avoid killing any naked pedestrians. I did sneak one peek in the rearview mirror, though. Poor Danny looked like he was about to shit a weather balloon. He was absolutely petrified. I felt so sorry for him and then it dawned on me…YIKES…in a very short time, we were going to see each other’s Mr. Happy and Pow Pow. I slowed the car’s speed in half and we veritably crawled the rest of the way to the cabin.
By the time we got inside our weekend abode, it felt like I had had a spirited performance of “Stomp” going on in my lower digestive system. Mom was just trying to negotiate a path into the living room without knocking over too many floor lamps.

“Okay kiddies, let’s get our clothes off and go find your uncle,” she suddenly blurted out and then jettisoned her blouse. Now, a lot of mothers and daughters share a bathroom and see each other in the shower or on the toilet on a regular basis – we did not have that kind of relationship. This is the first time I’d ever seen her in just a bra…and that too got blithely jettisoned. Who was this woman?

My brother just stood there, with his mouth hanging open, as mom’s tits boinged around the room in front of us.

“Come on, you two! We need to lighten up. This family is way too tight-assed. Bob keeps saying we’re too tight-assed and I agree with him. Our asses are way, way too tight.” Down went her pants. Her ass didn’t look that tight.

Danny appeared as though he were about to burst into sobs, so I faked a smile and began to remove my top. “Hey, it’s only clothing. My gynecologist stuck his finger up my ass last week. This has got to be more pleasant than that.”

He smiled a little and then the sight of my perky pink breasts being freed from their cottony confinement. This further diverted his male mind from his penis-presenting predicament.

“Listen, I’m going first, but you have to follow. Deal?”

Danny nodded his head as I slipped out of my jeans to reveal my smoothly shaved twat. My twin bro stopped smiling. I gazed down and could see he had a sizeable woody in his pants. There was no way on Earth that he was going to take his slacks off and show his mom that erection. My heart just broke for him. We were twins, so I’d always felt protective of Danny. I had to think fast.

“These clothes are going to get all wrinkled, lying here on the couch,” I sighed. “Come on Danny, let’s go find somewhere to put them.”
I quickly dragged the panic-stricken young man off to the safety of one of the bedrooms. “Listen, sweetie,” I sympathized. “I know what your problem is and you don’t have anything to be ashamed of. There’s nothing more natural than getting a boner at your age around naked women.”

“But you’re my sister,” he apologized.

“Hey, tits are tits. You trust me, don’t you?”

He nodded his head.

“Then, let’s get those pants off and I’ll help you get that thing down.”

I actually don’t know who was talking at that moment. I was barely 17 but I sounded like a nurse getting a patient ready for a risky operation. Danny nervously removed his slacks and there it was. I tried not to stare. I knew that would make him uncomfortable, so I acted like guys pulled out their skin flutes in front of me all day long (I wish!).

“Now, I am going to rub on this a little bit. Is that okay?”

His eyes popped open to the size of crop circles, but after a couple of seconds, he calmed down and nodded his head in agreement.
I took a deep breath and wrapped my fingers around his shaft. Wow! I’d never even seen a live penis until about sixty seconds ago and now I was holding one! Obviously, I had no idea what I was doing (other than the umpteen handjob videos I’d watched on the internet, while feverishly whapping my hoo-haw) but I figured, this sort of thing was pretty hard to mess up.

“Just relax and go with it,” I whispered in his ear as I began to gently massage the end of his knob. It didn’t take long for him to get into the spirit of the exercise. After about a minute, my brother started to breathe like he’d just gone 6 rounds with Floyd Mayweather. I tickled his nards with my other hand as I continued to pump on his Johnson. I have to admit that I really like nuts, but what a weird thing to have hanging between your legs! I mean, how do you not squish ‘em when you walk? My playful promenade around his nards seemed to do the trick. Pow! His whole body twitched and vast sprays of semen started shooting out the end of his cock. The warm, sticky fluid drenched his stomach, nutsack and the back of my fist. I’m not going to lie, I was pretty proud of myself (not to mention pretty turned on).

“Now, you just sit there and let me clean this up. You did great, by the way.”

While I was extracting some Kleenex from the box on the side table, I snuck a taste of his spunk on the back of my hand. Hmmm. Interesting. Not the greatest flavor in the world, but I was determined to be a swallower and not a spitter. I mean, there’s no point in playing the game, if you’re not going to claim the prize, right?

With absorbent materials in hand, I got down on my knees in front of him and began to wipe up the spillage. I was holding his wang right in front of my face, as I dabbed at all the little blobs of sperm. The sensation of my naked tits rubbing up against the inside of his legs sent these little squiggles of yum darting up my vaginal canal. By the time I had sopped up the seepage, Mr. Happy had nodded off to sleep.

“There,” I smiled up at him. “All fixed. And if you just think about baseball, when we’re out there, you should be fine.”

“Are you two coming, or what?” my mother blearily inquired from the doorway. I would have jumped out of my skin, but that’s all I was wearing.

We didn’t get more that three inches out of our cabin before we were heartily greeted by my uncle, drink in hand. “How is my favorite niece,” he bellows and wraps me up in a giant hug. I almost fainted from the sensation of all of that flesh touching all of my flesh. His penis pressed against my left leg and was not as soft as our familial propinquity would dictate. When he finally released me, he grabbed onto my mother for a similar au naturale mauling. In her drunken state, she was far more receptive than I, to his overly affectionate gropings. Donny was super appreciative and relieved to only receive a manly handshake from our gregarious relative.

Uncle Bob gave us the eye-opening, legs-crossing tour of the pool area and volleyball court and then stumbled off to the bar with mom. Everywhere you looked there were cocks and tits and people with their hands above their heads. It was a bit dizzying.

Donny and I rushed straight back to the cabin and put our clothes back on. It was agonizingly weird sitting next to my brother, just blithely watching television, knowing that I’d jerked him off about an hour earlier. We were both so embarrassed; we couldn’t even bring ourselves to look at each other. I tried to be somewhat philosophical about it. Donny seemed to enjoy his penile pummeling and I got my first experience, learning how to play the cum-trumpet. Still, on the whole, the day had been pretty traumatizing. We just kept staring straight ahead, trying to collectively wipe the whole unseemly episode from our memories. Eventually, I couldn’t stand it anymore and I raided mom’s generous stash of wine bottles. For the next hour or so, we both proceeded to take the edge off our shame with generous helpings of mid-priced cabernet.

That worked splendidly until our mother got home. And, to our horror, she was not alone. Uncle Bob was right by her teetering side and they were both completely snootered. And we weren’t too far behind them.

“What are you two doing with your clothes on?” she slurred. “You’re going to hurt Bob’s feelings.”

Mom gave him a kiss on the cheek and rubbed his big stomach. Talk about the very definition of icky. Bob reciprocated by grabbing a goodly slice of her ass and pulling her towards him to give her a big slobbery kiss on the mouth.

“Do I have the best sister in the whole world, or what?” he drunkenly hollers, grabbing her ass anew.

If my mind hadn’t been swimming in red wine by this time, it would have been totally grossed out. After another few minutes of Bob badgering, Donny and I made a valiant attempt to disrobe without falling over into drunken heaps. So, there the four of us sat on a very small couch, pressed up against each other. Donny was squished up on one side of me and my dear Unc was on the other. I have never had my legs closed so tightly. Bob’s attentions weren’t aimed at me, however. He and my mother were tickling each other and touching each other in what my old kindergarten teacher would have said were exceedingly inappropriate ways. Bob had his arm around her and she had her hand resting way up high on his thigh. I tried unsuccessfully to focus on Mark Harmon’s awful performance on NCIS but Bob was definitely sporting a hard-on and, as any psychologist or pervert will tell you, recently-cooked sausage combined with alcohol has a way of warping the female brain. I felt myself getting really wet at the sight of them molest one another. They were both pretending like it was harmless fun and games but my mother’s nipples were as hard as a couple of woodscrews.

The next thing I know, they’re necking! Bob has his hand all over his sister’s tits and she’s stroking his dong! Basic human decency demanded I scream, “Stop, for the love of all that’s holy!” but I didn’t. Watching my mother jacking off her brother had my little drunken clit veritably buzzing.

Right about then, Bob grabbed the back of her head and yanked it down into his lap. Let’s just say, I didn’t see much resistance as she dropped her mouth onto her bro’s swollen knob. Now that mom was fully occupied sucking on his joint, my uncle turned his incestuous gaze my way. Before I could jump up and run for my honor, he had his lumpy hand between my legs, like a beagle down a rabbit hole. Talk about mortifying! I didn’t know what to do. He could feel how wet I was. A bit of a giveaway, really. To my unpardonable disgrace, I opened up my thighs a tad to allow him better access to the tenderest flesh of my womanhood. I had never had fingers between my legs that didn’t belong to me, a “close associate” at the girls’ school or Dr. Felstein!
The sensation of being so rudely plundered set every nerve ending in my body on fire. I gripped the couch cushion as my toes practically curled into the arches of my feet.

My poor brother would have been absolutely horrorstruck but I don’t think he could even remember his name by that point in the evening. He just gawped at our be-sucked uncle brazenly rubbing me off. In my heightened state of shit-faced arousal, things suddenly took a turn for the unpardonable. All sense of propriety and decorum were lost in the mists of alcohol and concupiscent madness. Bob pulled me down onto his nutsack. Before I knew what was happening, I was sharing cock with my mother! The feel of a man’s hairy nards on my lingua and lips was a bit of a mixed bag (pardon the pun). I wasn’t washing his scrotum long, though. Within seconds, mom had worked her way down to my southerly location and swallowed me up in a big soul kiss. I felt my mother up as our feverish tongues danced about each other. My own nipples received a great deal of attention from her probing hands. The way the tips of her fingers expertly circled around my areolae, betrayed her own girls’ school education. From there, she guided my face northwards, with our mouths on opposites sides of the shaft, till we reached the very tip of his knob. Wow! I was sucking cock. And if it hadn’t have been my uncle’s, I might have enjoyed it even more. I was a little lost in my first fellatiatic moment and didn’t notice that my mother had wandered off. The meaty finger that Uncle Bob had shoved up my ass was also keeping my wine-soaked brain somewhat occupied.

That is, until I heard a familiar voice behind me say, “Don’t worry baby. Mommy is going to take good care of you.”

Oh my God, mom was blowing Donny! She was down on her knees, tits pressed up against his nuts, with his engorged pant soldier sucked all the way down into her lungs. The way the old gal was bobbing up and down on that thing, scraping her teeth gently against the rigidity as he withdrew, it could have made a dead man cum. I was beginning to wonder why daddy divorced her.

By now, Bob had me jerking him off while circling his furry anus with my tongue. Not as pleasant as it sounds. It was right around this tasty moment that I decided it was time to make a change.

“Let’s switch up,” I called out. Hey, he was my twin, I should probably be tyhe one to swallow his sludge.

“Yes, let’s go into the bedroom and switch up,” my lovable Unc sneakily agreed.

Two seconds later, I’m laying next to my tart-of-a-mother on the bed. Our legs are spread halfway across the room and our respective brothers are rubbing their dicks up and down our sopping, swollen labia and pushing them against our vaginal apertures. I realized how unspeakably ugly and wrong this was, as the head of my brother’s schlong gained ingress into my virginal pussy. Well, too late to do anything about it now!

“Fuck your big sister, baby,” I called out, grabbing his hips in my hands and guiding him all the way inside me. What a fucking rush! Literally.
My uncle was already humping away like demented paint shaker, on top of my mother. She had her calves locked around his thighs and her tongue down his throat. Our knees where banging together as we bounced up and down on the mattress, while our two closest relatives fucked us cross-eyed. Even with all that neurosuppresive booze in me, my twat was absolutely molten with desire. My clit rang like a church bell, every time Donny rammed his pork weasel into my girlie hot tub. His cock stretching my vaginal opening, with each deep penetration sent me right over the edge. A raging climax grabbed hold between my legs and exploded up my spine like a bomb going off in an elevator shaft. I thought it might set my hair on fire as my entire being was engulfed in one enormous cum spasm. All breathing stopped, as I road the most powerful cunt clench I’d had in my life. I began thrashing about, bucking so hard with my hips, I’m surprised I didn’t smash poor Donny’s ass against the ceiling. My demonically ravenous pussy demanding to be fed by my brother’s yummy tumescent schlong.
“Fuck my big, whore-stained slit with your hard, filthy cock!” my mother suggested at earsplitting volume. This caused my twin brother to momentarily stop boning me. We had never heard my mother say, “Darn,” before. We were momentarily taken aback. “Jesus, fucking Christ, I’m cumming!”

Watching your mother having a grand mal orgasm while writhing around under a sweat-soaked relative is a confusing experience. Her fingernails were jammed into my uncle’s ass-cheeks and her tits were swollen and as red as candy apples. Bob kept up the penile pressure till huge spurts of her girlie-goo sprayed out of her gaping vagina. Mom was a squirter!

My sweet bro was just about to begin re-fucking me when Bob pulled him off. My mother quickly escorted Donny into her eager quim as my uncle flipped me over onto my stomach.

“What are you doing?”

“Are you on birth control?”

“No,” I admitted.

“Then, this is what I’m doing.”

With that gracious warning, he stuffed his entire bulbous cock up my asshole. My eyes practically shot out of my head and bounced off the headboard. It felt like I had a telephone pole up there. I could hardly breathe, what with his huge sweaty stomach on my saturated back and 8 inches of dick pounding away inside my colon. Bob reached round and grabbed my tits with his hand, squeezing the nipple between his finger. Ordinarily, that would have really hurt (my nipples are pretty sensitive) but compared to the blistering excruciation consuming my utterly violated poop-hole, it was hardly noticeable. I was being well and truly ass-fucked with the head of his huge wang flailing around inside my lower intestine. The screams and moans caused by my rectal ravaging only spurred him on to quicken his murderous pace. I was just about to beg my brother to kill him to stop the pain when my uncle let our this porcine-like grunt. My decimated sphincter could feel his boner pulse with each massive gush of spunk it was ejaculating into me. He lay there for about a decade before roughly pulling his Johnson out my devastated fudge bucket. Wow. And I thought it hurt going in!

After that, I just lay there with my burning, throbbing corn cave stuck up in the cool soothing air until I fell asleep. My brother came inside my mother and also dropped off to slumber land.

I was awoken in the morning by the sound of my mother beating the living shit out of my uncle with her tennis shoe. “How could you fuck your own sister, you deranged maniac! Twice!”

Twice? He had impressive staying power for a fat, smelly old guy.

After another half hour of name-calling and shoe-beating, we threw on our clothes and drove the hell out of there. Let’s just say that the journey back to the house was not replete with conversation. My mother was in a bad mood for the next six months. I don’t know why she was so steamed. I’m the one who had to ride home with a load of her brother’s cum up her sore ass.

My mother and Bob no longer talk. All family pictures containing his visage have been unceremoniously expunged from our house. We never talk of that horrific night nor are we ever likely to. The only thing that’s different about our lives now is that Donny comes into my room and fucks me at least 30 times a week. And yes, I even let him give me some insan-al anal, on occasion. Thank goodness mom had to take that second job to pay all her legal bills!

Copyright 2014 Lauren McAllister

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