Tits-up in the Vestry

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by Cristiano Caffieri

The moment the Rev Michael Fitzgerald graduated from theological college he was gung-ho to take on the sinners of the world. However, he was a little disappointed that instead of being getting this own church right away he was given the assignment to assist another minister over the Christmas period.

“It’s a very busy time and Rev. Barnes has been having some health problems,” said the Bishop, I’m sure your help will be invaluable.”
When he arrived at St. Emery’s he was astounded to find that the minister he was to help out was a woman he’d been at school with. Although she was two years ahead of him her escapades were legendary. Nancy Barnes had been involved in everything from making home brew to letting the boys feel her tits for a dollar a head.
Her sexual expressions were described by the health teacher as “frightening,” and her short skirts and plunging necklines had solicited similar comments. There was a sigh of relief when she eventually graduated and Michael was quite certain that no one would ever have suspected her of being religious.

As one of the boys who’d paid to feel her tits she recognized him right away.

“Oh my god if it isn’t little Michael Fitzgerald – if you’ve come for another feel I have to warn you the price has gone up.”

Embarrassed he tried to laugh off the comment but over the next few hours while she was giving him the grand tour and filling him on what she had planned for the festive season she brought it up several times.
It appeared that she didn’t have any physical health problems she had just gone through a period of depression.

“I basically need somebody to talk to,” she said, “It’s so fucking boring here. There’s nobody who can hold a conversation for more than five minutes without referring to the weather or the crops. I got so down in the dumps I even thought of preaching from the pulpit naked as I thought it would at least get the locals talking about something different. The Bishop, of course, was dead against it and he’s sent you here to keep me company – well sort of.”

“Sort of?”

“Well I suspect as soon as I’ve filled you in on things they’ll hand over the church to you and I’ll be sent as a missionary to Papua or somewhere nakedness is more readily acceptable.”

“They certainly didn’t say anything about taking over the church to me they just said you needed help over Christmas.”

“Of course they wouldn’t come straight out with it – they were probably shit scared you might turn the job down.”

“Surely it can’t be that bad.”

“It’s fucking horrible – on the days I’m not listening to their tales of incest and debauchery I just sit and drink myself into unconsciousness. Speaking of which I have a nice bottle of home brew awaiting your approval in the vestry.”

“I’m not sure if that’s a good idea,” he said, shaking his head disapprovingly.

“Oh come on – just join me for one small drink and I might let you feel my tits for free,” she laughed.

Sipping on what tasted like a mixture of benzene and turpentine he asked her what ever made her decided to take holy orders.

“My Dad’s a vicar you know and he was quite sick at the time so I basically did it to please him. I would rather have been a prostitute, there’s real money in that and you meet a lot of nice people but here I am and here I’ll stay – at least while my Dad’s still alive.”

With this, she topped up Michaels glass and started to discuss the carols the choir intended to perform at the Christmas Eve service.

“They’re just a bunch of old folk,” she said, “kids don’t want to be in choirs anymore they’re too busy with their technical devices. I don’t suppose I could even get them interested even if I let them feel my tits,” she giggled.

Michael realizing that she’d drank far too much try to persuade her to go back to the parish house. “You probably think because we’re going to be in the house together you’re going to fuck me,” she said, her speech getting a little slurred, “Well you might at that,” and with this, she started to laugh hysterically.

Nancy took his arm and almost dragged him out of the Church, across the graveyard and into the house that was close by. The moment she got through the front door she stripped off her clothes and started to dance around.

“Take yours off too,” she cried, “Let’s be like Adam and Eve – they weren’t ashamed of their bodies.”

Out of her cassock, she certainly didn’t have anything to be ashamed of either – she had a great figure, lovely firm tits, long shapely legs and a neatly trimmed pussy. In spite of trying to resist temptation, he was developing a hard-on and decided that he’d better find his room and unpack while he still had some self-control left.

It was a narrow winding staircase and she led the way with her lovely bare ass moving in the most provocative way. When they arrived at the top of the stairs he realized too late that she had strategically placed a bunch of mistletoe over the bedroom door. Soon her full lips were clamped to his and her tongue was half way down his throat.

Having a suitcase in either hand he couldn’t do much about it. When he did drop them and let them go crashing down the stairs it didn’t help matters. Before you could say cock sucking mother fucker she dropped to her knees, unzipped his flies and had slipped his dick in her mouth. He wanted to protest but it was too late – he was enjoying it.
Nancy really knew how to work her mouth around it, she didn’t just go up and down she used her lips and tongue creatively until he felt his cum rushing up his pipe.

“Oh god – I’m cumming,” he cried out.

She gave a few more sucks taking it right up to the last minute and then moved back and worked it with her hand as it shot out all over her face. With his cum dripping from the end of her nose she told him he owed her a turn, with this, she rushed into his room, threw herself on the bed and opened up her legs. Michael knew he was breaking every rule in the book but it didn’t seem right to leave a lady twitching with expectation on the bed and just turn your back on her.

Kneeling at the foot of the bed he pulled her legs forward until his mouth was tight against her wet crack.

“Holy shit,” she yelled as his tongue began to probe inside her pussy lips, “Holy shit.”

Michael loved the taste of it and he kept licking and licking and until she screamed and jerked her ass up and down on the bed as if she was going into a convulsion. He was dying to suck those tits he’d felt when he was a young man and he straddled her body and bent down to take her hardened nipples into his mouth. Nancy was in ecstasy moaning and groaning and throwing her arms around in complete abandonment.

She became even louder when he moved up and rubbed his dick all over her perky tits. It was now hard enough to shove into her love tunnel and so he moved her into position so that he could kneel between her legs and then he rammed it in – a hole in one.

Nancy gasped and threw her arms back as he withdrew it and with the same precision rammed it back in again. Soon he was driving it in fast and furious with his balls banging together like Christmas bells – only silent. The sight of her voluptuous tits bouncing around just seemed to inspire him to go faster and faster until he gave a primeval yell and shot his load deep inside of her.

To cut a long Christmas story short they fucked each other right through to the New Year until they were caught doing it in the vestry by an influential churchwarden. Once their behavior was reported to the Bishop, they were equipped with mosquito nets and sun tan lotion and put on a plane to Papua.

The little mission they run is up in the jungle-covered mountains and the only thing either of them ever wears is a dog collar and the locals love them and they love each other. Almost every night! THE END

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Copyright 2015 Cristiano Caffieri

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