Sherlock Holmes and the Naked Lady

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by Cristiano Caffieri

Sherlock was not surprised when Mrs. Hudson announced that a very distraught lady wanted to see him.

“I believe that her distress is probably caused by the fact she is naked,” he said, puffing on his pipe and looking out of the window.

“Yes she is Mr. Holmes – well not completely naked she is wrapped in a blanket – and her name is ….”

“Miss Emily Kelp.”

“How on earth did you know that Sir?”

“It’s elementary Mrs. Hudson but don’t concern yourself with it – just show her in.”

The shivering woman walked into the room looking quite upset and struggling to keep the blanket in place her to preserve her dignity. Holmes continued to gaze down on Baker Street and pay her no heed for a good two minutes then without turning he invited her to take a seat. She sat on the sofa near the fire and once again readjusted the blanket to cover what looked like a beautiful set of legs.

“I’ve just had a very bad experience…” she began.

“I know – you were at the steam baths down the street and while you were there someone stole all of your clothes.”

“How on earth did you know that?” she asked quite startled at the revelation.

“Because it was I that stole them Miss Kelp.”

”You what?”

“I stole them – or perhaps it would be more correct to say – I borrowed them.”

“Holy fuck – are you one of those cross dressers or something.”

“No – and although I have no doubt I would look more attractive than some of the women who promenade down Baker Street – I do not swing in that direction.”

“Well, what the fuck did you do it for then.”

Holmes turned around, walked slowly to a chair opposite her and sat down. From this position, he could see a long way up her legs and he took a short deep breath as if he was aroused by what he saw.

“You are an actress are you not.”

She nodded.

“Playing in the White Sands of Doom at the Lyceum?”

“Well it’s only a small part – I’m not the lead or anything like that,” she said, modestly.

“But you’re playing a pivotal roll Miss. Kelp and if I was the producer I would be thinking of you in that regard for the very next play that came my way.”

“So you’ve seen me then.”

“I have attended every performance and I have been astounded by your ability to make the character your own – to say nothing of your nubile figure.” Holmes tried to cross his legs but couldn’t because he’d developed an enormous boner. He sighed and then continued, ”There’s no doubt you inflame the passions of every man who has the good fortune to be in the audience – you certainly have had that effect on the person who sits before you.”

“Are you saying you’ve got a thing for me?”

“I have a thing for you my dear lady and at this very moment it is stirring in my pants.”

“This is all very well Mr. Holmes, I do appreciate you are a man of a passionate nature but what about my fucking clothes – why did you take my clothes.”

Sherlock paused, and even though it wasn’t lit anymore he took a suck of his pipe, “I have to admit that I have been following you – of course, you would not have noticed me as I am a master of disguise and simply blend in with the crowd.”

“Holy shit – you’re not the old lady that keeps trying to sell me a bunch of wilted fucking violets are you?”

“I’m afraid that was not me,” he said, “ I assume that must be another one of your suitors, but I have been following you so that I could devise a plan to bring you to this apartment.”

“You’re a sexual predator – if you ask me. ”

“No – I’m what the younger generation would describe as “taken with you” Miss. Kelp. And when I realized you attended the Baker Street Steam Baths twice a week I saw an opportunity to lure you here seeking help regarding your missing attire. That is why I left my business card where your bloomers had been hanging.”

“Well the only help I want from you is my fucking clothes back,” she yelled. But then she calmed down a bit and raising her eyebrows she said, “”If you want to hang on my underwear to use when you jerk yourself off go ahead – they’re wearing a bit thin and I need some new ones.”

“Play your cards right Miss Kelp and you could have silk ones – with your initials embroidered on them.”

“Give it up Mr. Holmes I’m not that kind of girl.”

Holmes got up from his seat and walked to the bedroom door. Her eyes followed him wondering what the fuck he was up to. He soon returned with her clothes draped over his arm and a brand new hat in his hand.

“I am not only returning your clothes Miss Kelp but I have added a hat that I’ve had specially designed for you by Madame Yvette Tatu.”

Emily, unable to believe she was going to wear a hat made by the celebrated milliner stood up abruptly letting the blanket fall to the floor. She then moved quickly to take the hat from him and tried it on.
Sherlock watched as she danced about naked in front of the mirror and then with an enormous smile on her face she threw her arms around him squeezing her perky tits against his chest.

“Oh thank you Mr. Holmes – I’ve always wanted one of her hats but I just couldn’t afford it.”

He smiled knowingly and taking his pipe out of his mouth he put it in the potted Aspidistra and kissed her full painted lips. His kisses were not quite what she expected as his tongue explored the inside of her mouth in a way she found quite titillating and so she didn’t resist when he laid her down on the Persian carpet while he stood over her shedding his clothes.

Holmes wasn’t a young man but he was in great shape and his dick was standing upright like a sturdy gatepost. Before he could lie beside her she sat up and took it into her mouth. His body jerked dramatically as she plunged it deeper and deeper into her throat. Both of her hands were fondling his balls as she slid up and down his night stick and he was in ecstasy.

When he shot his load she stepped out of the way and his cum shot over her shoulder and hit a photograph of Queen Victoria that was on the side table. In a mark of respect for the sovereign, he did mumble his apologies before lowering himself down so that he could suck Emily’s nipples. He just nibbled them lightly with his teeth at first but then he took the whole pointed end in his mouth and she started to tremble uncontrollably.

As she was writhing all over the carpet he slipped his hand up her thigh and let his fingers play with the pink folds of her vagina.

“Oh keep doing that,” she cried breathlessly, “Keep doing that – I like it.”

The combination of sucking her tits and fingering between her legs sent her over the edge and she yelled at the top of her lungs as she had a massive orgasm. It didn’t take a great detective to see that she wanted to feel his thick stiff dick penetrating her pussy, so opening up her thighs he maneuvered it in the entrance to her wet crack.

“Oh my god,” she yelled as it slowly moved up inside of her inch by inch, “that feels so fucking good.”

Wanting to stay in her soft warm cunt as long as possible he tried not to force the pace but Emily was anxious for him to bring her to a climax and so she wriggled her ass urging him to fuck her faster. When he opened up the throttle he was going like the hammers of fuck and she was crying out and digging her finger nails into his back. When he came it was like a mini-explosion and he could feel the cum moving endlessly up his dick and shooting into her cavity.

When she regained her composure she turned her body around and took his still dripping bushwhacker into her mouth. She moaned as she sucked on it as if it was the flavor of the week and it started to get hard all over again.

Unfortunately, Doctor Watson chose that very moment to barge into the room, “Hello – what’s going on here Holmes – being treated for snake bite again?”

Before he could reply Emily started to giggle, “That’s her,” she said.

“Who’s her,” asked Sherlock as Watson turned slightly red and tried to hide his face.”

“That’s her – the woman with the wilted Violets – I’d know that mustache anywhere.”


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A nurse gets called in on a really shitty day to to give a physical to two complaining, middle-management douchebags. A good life rule: Don’t piss someone off when you’re not wearing any pants.

Copyright 2014 Cristiano Caffieri

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