Family Business, Dirty Business

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by Cristiano Caffieri

Elsa and Billy Manley were second cousins, although they were unlikely to admit it. The whole Manley family seemed to despise each other, there was no real explanation for it but you could perhaps put it down to some kind of genetic trait. However, perhaps the one most likely “not to invited to the family picnic,” was Ely, he was the meanest son of a bitch in the whole county and seemed proud of it.

He owned a business of sorts rendering down dead animals, his facilities, which adjoined his house would make a maggot vomit but he didn’t seem to care. A bachelor, who got his jollies with aging prostitutes with low rates and even lower esteem, he was always thought to have a few dollars stashed away. When he died there was a lot of speculation who he would leave it to.

Elsa and Billy never expected to be on his list of possible heirs he never liked either of them but that’s the way it turned out. One day out of the blue they were summoned to the offices of the law firm of Street, Purser and Street. Even as they sat in the waiting to go into the office the two just scowled at each other with that looks that would have been too extreme even for the Hatfields and McCoys.

Mr. Street, smiled a somewhat sinister smile when he informed them that they were to benefit from their uncle’s estate.

“There are a few conditions,” he began, “Conditions that I quite frankly find disgusting but I never-the-less have to enforce in order make the funds available to you.”

“How much funds,” growled Billy.

“Unfortunately I cannot tell you that until you have fulfilled the conditions.”

“And what are the conditions.” asked Elsa.

“Well it makes me blush to explain them,” he said, cleaning his glasses before opening up the will.

He cleared his throat, “The fact is – you two must have sexual intercourse before I can distribute the monies involved .”

“With each other,” screamed Elsa, looking over at Billy as though he was a pox ridden goat.

“That would sum it up rather well,” said Mr. Street.

Billy wasn’t quite as shocked as she was and he stroked his chin thoughtfully,

“I suppose I could put a bag over her head and pretend it was somebody else.”

Elsa clenched her fist as if she was ready to slug him one but the lawyer intervened,

“You could have course contest such conditions and no doubt you win your case but it would cost a considerable amount of money to take it to court and it could take up to twelve months to get it settled.”

“I want the money now,” snorted Billy, “I don’t want to be waitin’ twelve fucking months.”

His cousin gritted her teeth and looked adamant, “I’ll contest,” she said.

Mr. Street said it would complicate matters if only one party objected to the conditions and he urged them to reach a compromise.

“Well,” said Billy, furrowing his brow like a regular Clarence Darrow, “In my opinion, we could sign some sort of paper saying we had fucked each other and that would solve the problem.”

“Not quite,” he smiled, “There has to be definite proof.”

“It’s not going to happen,” snarled Elsa, there is no way that prick is going to fuck me even for a million dollars.” As she said that she looked thoughtful for a second, “He didn’t leave a million dollars did he?”

“I’m not allowed to say.”

“I’d fuck a sheep for a million dollars,” grinned Billy.

“You probably fuck sheep all the time,” she said, “Cos surely no self-respecting woman would go with you.”

“You’d be surprised how many good looking chics have opened up their legs for me,” he retorted.

“Let’s not turn this into a slanging match,” said Mr. Street, “I’ve other clients to see and this meeting is costing both of you money.”

“When is this sickening sexual act suppose to happen,” she asked, gradually resigning herself to the fact that if she was ever to leave home and buy herself a decent car she might have to make the sacrifice.

“Well you could do it here right now or we could arrange a hotel room – that, of course, would cost money and I can’t actually release funds of any kind until the conditions are met.”

Elsa’s face looked like it had been painted by Edvard Munch, “Here in the fucking office with you watching??”

“That would seem to fit most of the conditions.”

“Most of them,” she yelled, “What do you want now – one of his fucking sheep as an additional witness.”

“No just my secretary,” he pressed the buzzer and within a few seconds, a gorgeous long legged blond entered the room.

“Whew – I rather fuck her,” said Billy with a silly leering expression on his face.

“In your dreams,” said Mr. Street, “She’s mine aren’t you darling,” she kissed him on the cheek and sat beside him behind the desk.

“Now here’s a list of things you’re supposed to do,” he said, handing them each a sheet.

“We have to take all our clothes off ? And I have to suck his dick – this is too much.”

Billy sniggered as he read through the list and didn’t seem to have a problem with it. Feeling defeated Elsa just had an enormous sigh and reluctantly started to strip down.

She had a very nice body and a lovely perky pair of tits and the lawyer began to smile approvingly until his secretary poked her finger in his chest. Billy turned out a lot better than he looked in his torn jeans and baggy sweatshirt and Elsa realized she’d had a lot worse bodies bouncing on her than his.

The pair took a look at the sheet of instructions before lying down on the rug where Elsa began to gently scratch his balls with her long painted nails. He moaned immediately and when she took her other hand and pulled the skin back on his dick it became much, much louder. Then when she slipped her lips over the end and engorged an inch at a time he just about brought the ceiling down.

She felt quite embarrassed sliding up and down his cock in front of people but she had to think of all that money and so she sucked and sucked and until Billy let out another loud yell and blew his load into her mouth. As per instructions she closed her eyes and swallowed it.

Now it was Billy’s turn to force his face between her legs and lick up and down her wet crack. Elsa was surprised that in spite of her hating her second cousin it felt quite nice and when he added a finger and pulled down on the base of her vajajay it felt so good she cried out, “That feels so fucking good”.

After that, it didn’t take long for her to cum. When she did her body shook violently, she grabbed on to his hair and yelled “Fuck – fuck – fuck.” At the top of her voice.

Before she’d finished trembling he rammed his dick into her with a great deal of aggression and proceeded to pound her pussy like a jackhammer. As his dick slipped in and out of her love tunnel it felt incredible but she knew what was coming – as per the instructions. When Billy’s balls began to tingle and his cum started to move up his cock he had to withdraw and shoot it all over her tits – in addition, he then had to lick her nipples.

Their two naked bodies rolled around in a tight embrace for some time before they decided to stand up again. Mr. Street, who had his hand up his secretaries skirt quickly removed it and got down to business.

“Well as you have complied with the condition of the will it’s time to write the checks. Seated before him naked and shaking with excitement they reached for the slips of paper that they hoped would change their lives.

“Six hundred fucking dollars” they chorused, totally shocked by the amount.

“Well there were legal costs, stamp duties, and disbursements – it really does make a big hole in the proceeds.”

The two cousins looked at each other and started to laugh hysterically while the lawyer and his secretary looked on in amazement. Billy and Elsa dressed, thanked Mr. Street and his floozy, and walked out of the office hand in hand.

THE END

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